Are there certain things you won’t post in certain places? Information you’ll never share online?
I took my Nanna shopping for the day and insisted she wore a light jacket. She wasn’t too keen but I explained that there’s all sorts of weird bugs out these days and I didn’t want her getting sick. She tutted at me and called it nonsense – and then diagnosed the infirmities of the world in two words as we left the house.
While I am generally loathe to write about or call attention to topics of a delicate nature in a public forum, I feel compelled to share this nugget of information. It appears that the majority of illnesses today are, according to Nanna, caused by ‘wandering fart’.
You might think this a feasible explanation for stomach cramps and/or discomfort in the lower bowel, and you’d be right. However, Nanna says that from the second you’re born wandering farts develop, advance and mature along with you. Eventually they invade every square inch of your body. And not just yours. Everyone’s. No one escapes. No one. Who hasn’t met someone full of hot air at some point in their lives? And who can honestly say they’ve never acted like that themselves? Not me and certainly not Nanna.
I have spent a considerable amount of time perusing medical texts on this illness. I have supplemented my research with E.R., Grey’s Anatomy and House and cross-referenced potentially hopeful results with C.S.I., N.C.I.S. and Law and Order,and realised that very little has been written about it. Consultations with doctors, surgeons, oncologists, coroners, detectives, toxicologists and forensic specialists confirmed this fact. So I have decided (as I said) to overcome my embarrassment and share Nanna’s proven cure;
“Have a glass of water and a good laugh – and get over yourself’.
I hope this helps.
The Burren and Beyond 